I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. Like a five-year-old, I want to close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, stomp my feet on the floor and scream “No! No, you cannot make me, I won’t, leave me alone!” I am, simply put, too tired. So very, very tired.
I am tired of fighting with my friends. I am tired of arguing that someone groping and slapping my butt isn’t “what I have to expect”, just because I’m at a bar, and the one attacking my butt has a drink in the other hand. I am tired of hearing “boys will be boys” and “when you’re dressed like that …” and “that’s just what guys do”. I am tired of trying to drown those sentiments in loud, repetitive no’s, screamed over and over again, till my throat is sore and my voice weak – just to hear them repeated, as soon as exhaustion threatens to silence me.
I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of seeing someone writing something offensive, sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, somewhere online. I am tired of seeing those writings getting likes and lol’s, and SO TRUE’s. I am tired of being consumed by confusion and anger, typing, typing, typing and typing a seemingly endless response, including research, links and statistics, and then hesitate clicking “submit”. I am tired of knowing that I hesitate because I am afraid of the flood of responses that will come. I am tired of knowing that I will be bombarded with lighten up’s, stop whining’s and get a sense of humor’s for so long, that I will start to wonder if I am indeed wound up too tight, a nagger and humorless. I am tired of the fact that I’m afraid of being called a cunt, even though I don’t find genitalia insulting or demeaning."
–“My eyes, are up here! I am a person with feelings! Get out of my grill! I am a powerful woman and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality!”
The latest post from my Wordpress blog:
Today the Guardian reported that the French have said adieu to Mademoiselle, deeming it “an unnecessary and unjustified reference to women’s marital status” which “should be phased out from official forms.”
The decision follows a campaign by French feminist groups, including Osez le féminisme, whose anti-rape campaign I was involved with while living in Paris. As such, it’s a campaign I’ve been following with interest in French news and comment articles, as well as the Guardian’s coverage. A comment piece I read in Le Monde before Christmas discussed the equivalent titles used by France’s European neighbours and cited the use of “Ms” as a third option for English women. It struck me as interesting that, rather than fighting for a third option of their own, French feminists have fought to only have one. Like the men.
Today I was sitting in the cafe doing homework when a young gay man from one of my classes came up to me. He asked me if I ever think about the disappointment my parents must feel. I asked, for what? He said, “Well, just imagine the disappointment they must have felt when they learned that they adopted a chinese lesbian baby. Can you imagine what that must have been like for them?”
His words were like acid drops spilling from his tongue. The way he said chinese. Like the way you say chink. And lesbian, as if it were a snake. And baby- as if I were so disconnected from my parents. Like I was a product with a bar code.
I can only imagine, oh boy. What a disappointment I must have been. A chinese, lesbian baby. A baby that would grow up to be me- what insanity. They must have been so disappointed when I got National Honor Society. They must have been so disappointed when I won the award for most community service hour logged out of my entire high school. When I became a research assistant for a graduate psychological study as a freshman in college. And when I applied to volunteer at the rape crisis center. And when I was chosen as treasurer of the GSA in college after two weeks of being there. Can you imagine the disappointment they must have felt when they saw the love in my heart and the song in my voice? And how disappointed they must have been when they realized they raised a daughter who could not be broken? Someone who can walk, talk, live and breathe in a society whose air only wants to choke me.
But really. You, me, he- we are all so much more than our sexuality.
It is just disheartening; the ignorance within our own community.
Sen. John Kerry has introduced federal legislation that would protect same-sex couples from discrimination in matters related to housing. A version of the bill was introduced in the House as well.
The Housing Opportunities Made Equal Act, or HOME Act, would amend the 1968 Fair Housing Act to ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. This would relate to issues dealing with credit, acquisition of housing and custody of children, among other things, including making it easier for LGBT couples to fight back against discrimination. The Advocate article linked above has more of the legal details.
“It’s hard to believe that in 2011, any law-abiding, tax-paying American who can pay the rent can’t live somewhere just because of who they are,” Kerry said in a statement. “Housing discrimination against LGBT Americans is wrong, but today in most states there isn’t a thing you can do about it. This legislation would end discrimination that continues to hurt people.”
Now that is what I’m talking about.
Honestly disrespect towards a fellow feminist is not only immature it is outright counter productive towards any kind of social change.
Yes, feministslut I am talking to you. Your so called rolling of the eyes does nothing for feminist movement except to cause fights within it. I was simply stating that women’s rights is a term that can be exclusive, and we don’t need to use the term in order to focus on humanizing women. I refuse to exclude non binary people.
And I refuse to throw “women’s rights” away when it has and continues to be a way for women to understand their oppression. I’m not going to force women to get a new vocabulary to understand their oppression because it doesn’t describe every single persons oppression.
If you think feminist haven’t been fighting within the movement since it began, you might want to check our history. We have not been a unified movement, ever. We will never be a unified movement and I am okay with that.
Feministslut has a had issues with cisplaining and erasing trans* folk within the past (the post was from January) and as far as I’m aware, she’s never recanted on those statements, even after Genderbitch’s wonderful commentary (among other’s).
Not only that, your justification for not including us is out of mere convenience. “It’s easier to explain to cis women their oppression and ignore the oppression of others so I just won’t include them!” No one is asking that you throw away women’s rights, merely that you acknowledge that there is an intersection between our oppression and that we are all affected by a cisgender white patriarchy, not just women. Picking and choosing whose rights are more important is bullshit. Pretending we don’t exist and that we aren’t as important as the women you fight for too, is seething hypocrisy that corrodes the very concept of equality and hollowing out your words to fill it with nothing more than dehumanizing bile.